Sleeping under the stars

I have no idea how I managed to drive four fighting les enfants through the French countryside by myself 25 years ago without a GPS, in a vehicle they christened the Death Mobile. I must have been totally deranged to even consider it, or maybe, it was because I was 25 years younger and thought I could do anything.

Now, I cannot do anything without the magnificence of Apple. Given the state of the world, I realise I should choke on that, but the wonderful Apple CarPlay has been directing me around all day – even off D roads. She has taken me across country, up and down goat tracks that are barely wide enough for a car, let alone those damn thundering trucks. My brilliant Apple watch is the best thing I bought with me as it makes navigating oh so easy, in a vehicle, a bike, or on foot. While the fabulous maps automatically pin the car wherever I park it, I have an AirTag in the car that has proved to be invaluable when I had the car parked in the back blocks of Cahors. ‘Find my AirTag’ and the directions are super easy – rather handy to find my way back to the hotel in Berlin too.

While my fabulous collection of Apple paraphernalia accompanied me today, it was all very out of place at the Château de Castelnaud and Château de Beynac. I have been trying so hard to get my head around masculine and feminine nouns, but there was no doubt that the walls of both of these immense feudal ochre stone piles were well and truly saturated with centuries of massive testosterone. I am sure it is because I have been reading far too much dragon porn, but I was sure I saw a massive dragon flying past the wooden hoardings gallery.

This is Chocolat country, or where part of it was filmed, but after a serious dose of armour, the trebuchet, the couillard, and a million cross bows, it will be the 1332 Hundred Years War that I will dream about tonight rather than Juliette or Johnny (I do love that film).

So, I needed to find a fairy princess château and definitely found that at the beautiful Les Jardins Suspendus de Marqueyssac. The Château has been in the same family since 1692, and the gardens are beyond stunning. It was so hot in the sun, but I had the most fabulous time with the peacocks hiding in the maze and the most beautiful late lunch sitting on the lovely terrace.

I can’t believe that I am writing this, but I even loved the drive back along millions of winding roads with the setting sun on the stone buildings reinforcing that it is indeed fairytale country (despite the warring feuds).  

I don’t like driving at the best of times, but here, I just have to pull up my Bridget Jones undies and try and be a grown up. The constant chant – me in the middle – does help with getting the right-side thingy through my head. Sort of OK with that, (not really), BUT – it is this spatial thing on the road that my brain just does not compute.

Last time I drove in Europe, I reckon I hit every curb. I have been known to drive down the wrong way of one-way streets, have driven into restaurants with diners happily eating at lovely check table clothed tables (when I thought it was a road), panicked at roundabouts, and driven like the grandma that I am. BUT, what is the issue with my brain that just can’t figure out where the damn car is sitting on the road? Here there are no curbs, and some of the driving I have been doing, no guard rail just a sheer drop. If I can see a white line in the middle, maybe I am somewhat better, BUT – here an absence of white lines on many roads. OMG – I have to force myself not to close my eyes when trucks thunder past on narrow rural roads. Why do I think that holding my breath will help?  I reckon I have almost worn out the Saint blessings. It is sort of like playing online Mahjong (that I am addicted to) where I have to watch an unexciting video to get more tiles. Here, I have to keep popping into the church next door and hoping that this will refill my Saint blessings.

I have settled into my lovely maison, where I have a whole village to myself. There is literally no-one here and I have walked so many kms where I rarely see anyone. The main street is completely empty, and I reckon I have seen no more than five cars driving. I assume it will change as Easter approaches. It is fabulous staying in a house, with 20-30cm wide floorboards, steps that have survived thousands of stomping feet, armoires that are touching the massive beams, and shutters that completely close out the world. At the same time, it is fabulous having a brilliant stove, fast wifi, great heating, and a brand new TV. I am loving the shutters as I don’t think I have slept so well in ages. I am also loving no clock needed. The church bells tell me to wake up, eat lunch, and have dinner.

One of my favourite things to do when I travel is to wander around supermarkets. I pulled into the massive Carrefour in Toulouse and was completely overwhelmed by the sheer size. Le boucher, le poissonnerie, and marchand de fromages with their wielding knives was beyond entertaining. Talking about my appalling French – made the crappiest muffins that almost poisioned me as I didn’t buy levure chimique like I was supposed to, but instead piled in the bicard soda – note to self – use Google Translate and taste before spooning in. Today’s French was very funny. I far prefer the little Carrefour in Montcuq as the staff are lovely and I don’t have a panic attack with the overwhelming size. After the baking powder disaster decided I would make lemon tart. Wandered down the hill with my basket. The lovely young woman at the checkout came in from her cigarette break to serve me and was beyond pleasant. Her English was about the same as my French. I was trying to explain to her could I please have coins as I needed them for the loo when I was out driving. Most places take cards for everything except the loo. I stupidly left my bag of euro coins at home. The poor woman in the Carrefour thought I needed the loo and was so helpful in wanting to escort me. We eventually worked out (with my appalling French and mime) that I needed change for my wad of euro. She laughed so much when I told her I was old and loos were exceptionally important. Well, I hope that is what I said – hmmmm – guess she could have been laughing at my appalling French or maybe I said something completely rude. No idea – but feel like I have made a friend.

It was quicker to fly in and out of the UK for my Berlin soiree, so I arrived back at Heathrow quite late in the evening. The comfortable Sofitel is oh so convenient in Terminal 5. Was a super easy transfer over early in the morning to Terminal 3 for my Toulouse flight. Nothing like a good English BA lounge breakfast to start the day. Make that, also to end the day, as always so hearty you don’t need to eat again.

My flight to Toulouse was once again so civilised. A very warm welcome as a QFF and have been so lucky so far with all BA flights, always my own row. There was hardly time to read a few pages of my latest dragon soft porn before an easy landing into Toulouse in brilliant sunshine.

Oh, the joy though of picking up a car. What a saga. I was worried about driving on the ‘wrong’ side of the road as haven’t done it for a while, but that was the least of my problems. I just needed a car that would drive. The car I had booked they couldn’t find (??? not sure how you can lose a car). Second choice was a little mini with racing stripes (I will really stand out in Montcuq). Lovely Avis man kept telling me it was electric, but why would it have a fuel tank ?? Got in the mini (definitely petrol), figured out how to drive it (sort of) and headed out of the carpark (amazing that I remembered the code to get out). Next thing, the car is screaming at me in French, and it was like no driving I have ever experienced. Figured out (OMG) which side I had to park on, and yes, tyre completely flat. I have no idea how I managed to get the car back into the carpark. By this time, I was feeling slightly stressed. Man scratched his head as they had no more cars. He did point at a hire bus to me, but no French was needed – he could tell I was unimpressed by my massive finger waving – Non Non Non. He sighed, shrugged, and said I would have to take a new car. I was so relieved to be tossed the keys to a new little hatch with 30kms on the clock. When I got in and the Apple CarPlay worked, I thanked every French Saint I could remember – of course, Saint Joan of Arc first (I do love Orléans).  

My last visit to Montcuq – never been forgotten. Totally lost in the dark with four children. Credit card wouldn’t work, no petrol, no fuel station that would take cash, gendarme in Montauban, drive down dark, terrifying lane, Lyd convinced we were about to be murdered. This time, drive through Montauban in brilliant sunshine. Of course, I drove like a grandma – well a respectable 100km an hour, but still had cars whizzing past so damn fast I couldn’t tell the colour.

My last encounter with French toll roads was terrifying (four kids in the car fighting made it more terrifying). Dutifully collected my ticket, drove the 50km or so to the next barrier. Put my ticket in, tapped my credit card, barrier went up. No charge on my credit card which has me slightly worried, but lovely Kate and John who were walking their Bichon in the Montcuq fading light reassured me that barrier doesn’t ever move if payment not OK.

I worship at the Chapel of Apple and the lovely CarPlay directed me to the beautiful village in the Lot. The massive key worked and once I had the shutters open and the kettle on, I felt slightly more human. I have not slept more than three hours at a time without constant waking up but my first night cosseted away in the dark with the shutters closed to the world – woke up maybe ten hours later to the church bells. The sun reflecting off the beautiful limestone, the super quiet tiny village (I think I am the only one here), and the spectacular countryside out the window – the world seemed slightly more on its axis (before I turned on BBC news and then the world felt like a scary place – I quickly turned it off).  

I have been away a week so far, and already it seems like an epic journey. Travel plans were interrupted a bit by Heathrow fire and fog, so spent a couple of very comfortable nights with flight delays in Sydney and London. It was my first time in Berlin and a great BA flight that was a wee bit delayed. Copious apologies from the staff and an email the next day apologising for the delay – so different to our national carrier.

My Berlin soiree was cut short by a couple of days so booked tours to make sure I could pack a heap in. They were all excellent. I loved flying around Berlin on a bike. Super flat so incredibly easy riding. https://www.fattiretours.com/berlin/tours/highlights-of-berlin-bike-tour/

https://www.viator.com/tours/Berlin/Discover-Berlin-Half-Day-Walking-Tour/d488-3817DISCOVER

https://www.viator.com/tours/Berlin/Final-Days-of-World-War-2-Walking-Tour-of-Berlin/d488-5560WAR

I am so grateful to Jan for the fabulous recommendation to stay at the lovely Radisson Collection Hotel, Berlin right on Alexanderplatz. The hotel was gorgeous, but the location was amazing. There was a train/bus strike on so being able to walk everywhere just made it all so easy. The trip from the airport to the hotel should have been easy, but the train kept stopping and everyone kept piling off onto a different train. Everyone spoke perfect English wherever I went expect for the trains. I was completely clueless what was going on with the constant stopping and starting and changing trains but later found out it was short strike action. Going back to the station was super easy with the strike over.

Maybe I am the only one that has never been to Berlin, but I kept asking myself why I hadn’t been before. I have never thought about Berlin as a foodie destination but ate some of the best food ever. Great brunches at Father Carpenter (in a gorgeous building) and Flamingo near Friedrichstrasse station, and the best modern Greek food anywhere at San Ena when I was too tired to go out. Of course, I had to eat schnitzel, and it was beyond delicious at a gorgeous small restaurant recommended by one of the guides – Trio. Hmmm, maybe I did also manage to eat fabulous strudel. 

I think I was expecting dark and austere buildings that aligned with the terrible past. What I found was stunning architecture and the prettiest of cities. I loved the walk from the hotel down to the Brandenburg Gate. The Pergamonmuseum is closed for the next 14-20 years. I did wonder about German efficiency, but every guide told us that was a thing of the past. The other museums were fantastic, and while the fabulously painted bust of Queen Nefertiti should be in Egypt, she does sit very regally in the beautiful Neues Museum on museum island.By far my favourite visit (I went back a few times) was to the Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe. I found the 2711 concrete slabs incredibly moving. Fitting that it is built on the ‘death strip’ where part of the wall stood. I so enjoyed learning more about German history and felt it was so much more evident in Berlin than I have seen in my other travels through Germany. Jan is right – the city really wears its heart on its sleeve.

Al and I had spent time in Athens only a few short months ago so I wasn’t desperate to go back to the Acropolis. I could see it as I strolled the streets of Athens. I knew that amazing treasures awaited me on the coast of Ionia in Izmir Province in Turkey so I just enjoyed a leisurely Athenian day in the sun.

We arrived into Kusadasi in Turkey at 7 and again climbed on a bus at 7.30 to Meryem Ana Evi or Mother Mary’s House just a few km from Ephesus. It is in the most amazing spot. A really high climb up a mountain and then to the most lushest, coolest forest on the mountain top. Mass was in full swing as it was Sunday morning and it was incredibly peaceful with Christian and Muslim devotees engaged in beautiful singing. 

It was quite a contrast to stroll the stone and marble roads of the most amazing ancient city that I have ever been to. It is hard to describe the sheer enormity of Ephesus. My geography is clearly not great as I hadn’t processed, I was no longer in Europe but in Asia. I have never seen anything like the Library of Celsus or the 25,000 seat theatre, the largest in the ancient world. The theatre is still used for modern day performances. I have sat on Hadrian’s wall in the UK but Hadrian’s Temple here in Anatolia was next level. I was at the juncture of the Silk and Spice Roads and my imagination was in total overdrive. It was just incredible. 

When anyone says they would hate a massive cruise ship, it is clear they have never been on one. The Celebrity Apex is so huge it is never crowded and rather like living in a very upmarket small town with fabulous food, great cocktails, and the best views. We left Porto di Civitavecchia right on time at 5pm. Thursday was spent at sea and I think the at sea days are my favourite. Strolled between the pool, a number of bars, one of about ten lovely restaurants, great coffee shops, a fascinating lecture on Ancient Greece and an awesome acrobatic practice in a fabulous bar. 

Friday we docked in Katakolon right on time at 7am. I want this trip to be as easy as possible so had booked a trip to the archaeological site of Olympia and left on a new airconditioned coach at 7.30.  No matter how many times I visit amazing ruins of classical antiquity I can never get my head around standing looking at buildings built between the 8^th and 4^th century BC. The stadium is amazing, and I dug my toes into the starting stones, looked up at the temples of Zeus and Hera and imagined myself as an ancient Olympian – yes, a wild imagination.

I had a stand on the 590 BC Altar of Hera where they light the Olympic torch using a parabolic mirror to the sun. The Greeks do museums so well and the Archaeological Museum of Ancient Olympia was fantastic. The sculptures off Zeus’s Temple were fantastic but I think my favourite was the winged goddess, Nike of Paionios from 425 BC. 

Apart from an issue with a lost bag, my flight from Bendigo to Rome was fantastic. Gotta love when you can drive to the airport just before a flight, jump out essentially in a paddock, and end up a day or so later in the Eternal City. 

Rome was, as always, stunningly beautiful. It wasn’t as crowded as in April and much hotter, but in my short time there managed to throw a coin in a fountain, march for hours through hot Roman streets, and sit on the Spanish steps knocking back a few espressos. I would never drink an espresso at home but hey, when in Roma … 

I stayed in a super convenient hotel near Termini that I thought would make travelling with my bags easy. Didn’t need to worry as the airline had no idea where my bags were. It is slightly amusing that a $40, 20-cent piece size bit of mind-blowing tech from Apple means I can quickly find my bag anywhere in the world. Still, interconnected worldwide baggage service has no idea, and major Australian airline doesn’t know and doesn’t care.

I had a beautiful walk through the deserted early morning Roman streets (no one in Rome wakes up before 10), did a bit of urgent shopping, and then caught a train to Porto di Civitavecchia to board my floating home for the next couple of weeks. All super easy. Now lying around with the stacker doors open of my 5-star floating hotel room, a great breeze through the doors, and as far as I can see, millpond sea.

Six decades after I was born, we had the most fabulous April 27. I read about someone recently who stated that England was their country but New York their city. I feel the same about Roma.

My wonderful morning started with Lexie Grace and Evie’s version of Happy Birthday. It will be hard to top this year’s birthday as it was all about fantastic food, family, and beautiful Roma. Al and Maddy had taken my bag to the oh so lovely Hotel Dharma on Via de’ Ciancaleoni in the gorgeous neighbourhood of Monti. I had never stayed in that part of Rome before, and it is so fabulous. We picked the hotel based on the closeness to Cavour Station as easy to get to Termini. It was so lovely, but the real stand out was the fabulous staff. The welcome we got was one of the warmest ever, and they couldn’t do enough for us. I could have easily stayed for a month.

With two grandkids in tow, I wandered around the neighbourhood and found a lovely square to eat gelato. Lexie Grace had become fascinated with putting her hands in fountains, so I did have a slightly tense moment when I thought I would have to fish her out of the fountain. I must say, I was very relieved when Alex and Maddy arrived to help with small child wrangling.

We had a wonderful lunch of fried artichoke, ham, suppli, oozy cheese, and mountains of pasta at Ristorante Velavevodetto, not too far from The Pyramid of Cestius. Thankfully, we had a decent walk to Piazza Navona for our evening cooking class of more pasta and tiramisu. We had such a great time, and the food we made was delicious.

I could hardly walk as we staggered back to the hotel. In usual Alex style, he managed to find a small stomach spot for more gelato – I have no idea how he does it. I thought I would never need to eat again.

Oh god, the heat. Why would any sane person do a gladiator march all over Foro Romano, Palatine Hill, and the Colosseum without a hat or water? I am sure Vespasian, Titus, Augustus, and every other sensible person who hung around from the 10th century BC, would have worn a hat and drunk copious amounts of acqua. On my last day of being 59, I really thought I would expire. I did wonder what my dermatologist would have thought with the Grecian tan and now the pounding Roman sun. Thankfully, I don’t have to see her until June, so it will have faded before then.

It has been fabulous doing new things on this trip. The hypogeum, the labyrinth of narrow stone corridors under the Colosseum, has only fairly recently been open to the public. My imagination was in overdrive with exotic animals, gladiators, trap doors, and jumping lions. I definitely wouldn’t have wanted to be down there when the floor covered the Arena. The timber lifts that enabled lions and other wild creatures to jump from great heights into the Arena were fascinating.

I always have such mixed feelings about the Colosseum. The spectacle of magnificent processions, gladiator battles, and chariot races must have been amazing, BUT, estimates of 400,000 people dying there and a million animals are always so sobering.

The wild boar munching grand bebes have had a wonderful time. Nothing like having doting aunts and uncles to carry you all over Europe. I think Lexie’s love of peanut butter toast not cooked was taken over by her and Evie’s love of gelato. More food ended up all over them at every meal than in their mouths, and they just loved it. We threw the obligatory coins in the fountain. The girls thought that the concept was brilliant, but once the money was gone, the reality hit – they needed their money back.

Rome was hot, crowded and, as always, slightly mad. I loved it. It really made me think that the world was slowly getting better and that big, loud, out there Rome was sending a strong message – the world is open, and everything will be OK !!