Alphonse

So my Napoli adventure begins. A fantastic but crazy driving cab ride to Termini. My great cabbie has a brother in Princes Hill not far from Al. I love cabbies all over the world and this one was no different. Whining about the heat, the motor bikes, the tourists and Trump. Must admit I did think it was his mission to kill a few motor cycling annoyances and I did cover my eyes a few times. The cool train to Napoli was just so lovely. I did catch up on some work because those trains move so damn fast it is hard to see anything out the window. Since the days of the Godfather, I have had it in my head that Napoli is one of the most dangerous cities in the world. Of course I googled – will I get murdered in Naples? I figure I survived the murder capital of Canada, so maybe I would just survive Napoli murder dudes. Climbed off the train and had read so much about dodgy cab drivers I decided to brave the equally dodgy trains full of murderous pick pockets. So my crime lord fantasies were destroyed as I scanned the carriages. They all looked like pretty ordinary commuters. I popped up at Dante station after my 1 euro 10 train ride to the most fabulously gritty piazza. The hotel that I had booked, Santa Chiara,  had sent me directions and it was a great 10 minute walk along the most uneven paved streets. I quickly decided I was unlikely to be murdered in the streets but was likely to have an old lady fall and break my hip on the oh so uneven paving stones or get hit by an eight year old mentally riding a motor cycle at great speed down the middle of the footpath.

Thank god I had left my suitcase in England as I wouldn’t have wanted to walk those streets dragging a swish case. Arrived at a set of massive wooden doors. Standing in a gritty street and scratching my head trying to figure out how I would break down the massive wooden doors that looked like they were from the film set of Game of Thrones. A lovely Italian woman came to my rescue and punched in a code and I entered through a door built for medieval marauders. Inside was a wonderful reprieve and up a tiny lift to the most gorgeous hotel. I was desperate for a shower but the very lovely Gennaro wanted to talk all about Lygon Street. It was clear he was so well read. I assumed he had been to Australia but no, just a massive fan of Underbelly. He assured me that I was much more likely to get murdered by Alphonse Gangitano (except he is dead) than get murdered in Napoli.